You can't stay here

Closing time, every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.
– “Closing Time,” Semisonic

Every now and then, you reach a point in your life where things are going to change. It’s not a matter of if things will change–it’s a matter of how things will change.

Since the beginning of the year, my husband Chris and I have been working pretty diligently on making changes towards living a more balanced, healthy life.

Those changes just got a big kick in the pants Friday, when Chris’s physical revealed that he has type 2 diabetes. He just turned 37 on Sunday.

We’re already seeing the ways that grace is evident in this situation. As he said when he broke the news to me, of all the diagnoses he could have gotten, this was far from the worst. At this point, he doesn’t need insulin injections, and if he steps up his diet and exercise program, he may be able to manage it with diet and exercise. (At this point, the doctor wants him on some medication.) Lastly, he’s already made significant progress in building healthier habits–he’s lost 3.5 inches around his waist since the new year started.

But I would be lying if I said the news didn’t hit me hard. I’ve had three close family members die in the last five years from diseases stemming from poor health habits. When people you love die from more or less preventable diseases because they won’t break their bad habits… well, let’s just say I’ll have lots to talk about at my appointment with my really excellent Christian therapist this week.

Oh, that’s right. I hadn’t told you about that yet, had I?

A couple of weeks ago, I called my friend the counselor because, among other things, when the news that your dad’s geriatric labrador retriever has died has you breaking down crying at your desk, it is probably a sign that there’s a little more than that going on with you.

So, yeah… more grace. I had this appointment scheduled two weeks before I knew I needed it.

And that’s another thing. Expect more words like “grace” and “faith” and “prayer” to turn up here. I’ll be honest– the reason I have kept my faith mostly out of my blog is not because of people who don’t share it. It’s because there is no one more hateful to a Christian being honest and real about their faith in public than other Christians. It’s sad, but it’s also the reason I rarely read faith blogs and never read the comments on them. It’s too darn depressing.

Things are changing. I’ve got momentum, baby. And you don’t have to go home, but I can’t stay here.

4 Comments


  1. ·

    Hi, Kat! So sorry to hear about your husband’s diagnosis. That truly must have been a shocker.

    Diabetes runs in my husband’s family, too, so I’ve often wondered if he’ll end up with it. You’ve actually motivated me to make him a doctor’s appointment – and he’s 37 too!

    I’ve been pretty open about being a Christian at my personal blog and in my online interactions at blogs, forums, and on twitter. Amazingly, responses have almost always been good – and I’ve had a few people tell me that I inspired them to be more open.

    Hopefully you will have a similar experience!I’ll be praying for your husband.

    Loris last story..The Purpose of School

    Reply
  2. Kat
    ·

    Jon,

    Thanks for responding. I’m not much of a theologian, but my faith is a much bigger part of who I am than I’ve shown here. I may have been worrying for naught.

    Lori,

    I’m glad to hear your experiences have been positive. Good luck on your husband’s appointment. I read over the weekend that the average age of diagnosis has dropped dramatically in the last ten years, so 37 is definitely not too soon to get it checked. Chris’ dad has it, too, but he was diagnosed in his 50s (although he could easily have had it much longer than that.)

    And I appreciate the prayers.

    Reply
  3. Leigh
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    “It’s because there is no one more hateful to a Christian being honest and real about their faith in public than other Christians.”

    I wholeheartedly agree with that statement. I’ve kept my faith out of certain things simply to avoid the attacks I knew I’d get from my “fellow” believers.
    Love your blog…I am encouraged by your story. 🙂

    Reply

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