I had been trying to find the right words to describe the “theme” of 2006, because it definitely was a year with a very specific tone to it. Chris and I have been playing a Lord of the Rings game on Xbox all last week, so I’m going to steal a little Tolkien and say that 2006 was a year where I journeyed in shadow. As a whole, 2006 was complex, bittersweet, deep, and a bit dark. It was a Mounds bar kind of year, although at some points I did, in fact, feel like a nut.
Nothing really traumatic happened in 2006. Instead, I think it was the year where I was finally able to face, deal with, and process the traumatic stuff from the previous five years. Spiritually, vocationally, relationally, and psychologically, this was a year for dealing with the shadows, the ghosts, and the demons. Being brave enough to look into the closets and cubbies of my life, pull out the messes that have been shoved out of sight and out of mind, and dealing with them.
Of course, some of that “housecleaning” involved being willing to just “be” with situations that I didn’t have the power to resolve myself. Some of what made last year so challenging was the times when I knew what was wrong, and knew it wasn’t up to me to fix, and being willing to be patient and present in those situations (as opposed to just mentally and emotionally “checking out”).Â Being willing to let God or other people do what they needed to do. Not all of a person’s “stuff” is their stuff.
If the myth of Psyche (which also figured into my last year with odd frequency) is about the journey of the soul towards divine love, then last year I was “journeying in shadow” in the underworld, seeking beauty.
Deep stuff, indeed.