What a Feeling.

Do you need a moment to recover from the awesome 80′s cheesiness of that video? Feel free to take a minute before moving on with the post. [ETA: Apparently, cheesy music is the blogging theme for today.]

Back with me? Good.

I loved that movie back in 1983, when I was a middle school girl taking ballet and not fitting in especially well in the real world.   Should an 11-year-old girl have been watching a movie about a stripper/welder?  I dunno.

It did make me briefly consider asking my dad to teach me to weld.  He was a union sheet metal worker, and hey, if your career dreams are ballerina, writer or private investigator, it’s good to have a somewhat more pragmatic vocational back-up plan.

I’ve been thinking a lot about passion lately. Hence, the Irene Cara moment above.  ”Take your passion, and make it happen” sounds very Gary Vaynerchuk.  Everybody wants to rule the world… or at least, it seems like everybody wants to be an entrepreneur.

I get the whole “controlling my destiny” fantasy of running your own passion-centered business.   I wonder sometimes the extent to which people realize that it is, in fact, a fantasy.

“Control is an illusion, you infantile egomaniac! Nobody knows what’s gonna happen next…”

Wow, I’m just chock full of late 20th century pop cultural references today, aren’t I?

I don’t want to be an entrepreneur, because I’ve already been one.  If you’re looking for more of the mythical “balance” in your life, whatever you do, don’t start your own business.  If you want to pursue that passion into entrepreneurship so desperately that you’re willing to give up most everything else in your life for a season, then you’ve got the right perspective.  Entrepreneurship is not the path to balance, at least not until after many months or years of frantic, work-your-butt-off imbalance.

But “balance” is another illusion, if you ask me.  Balance implies perfection, and I don’t see too many perfect people wandering around.

I don’t want a balanced life, because I don’t believe there is any such thing.

I want an ordered life.

I want some measure of order to my days, so I don’t feel like I’m flying by the seat of my pants 24/7.   I want structure to start from till I feel like improvising, and structure to fall back on when improvisation fails.

I want some measure of order in my priorities, so that the things that matter but aren’t on fire manage to make their way into my life with some degree of reasonable frequency.

I want an ordered life, because I think it’s the best way to pursue my passion.  I think starting from an ordered life, I can see the things that I love actually happen.

And what a feeling that would be, wouldn’t it?