Wake Me Up Inside

Well, the “naming posts for song lyrics” theme seems to be working for me, so I think I’m gonna stick with that.

I feel icky today. Not quite awake, and not really rested, despite the fact that Queenie slept through the night last night (YAY!) I think it all comes back to my 40 day spiritual sabbatical, which officially started yesterday. I feel disconnected and vaguely disoriented. Perhaps that is the feeling one gets when one has cut themself loose from living in the railroad track rut of mindless habit, and yet has not embraced their true purpose and direction. I feel adrift–more adrift than I did before I started trying to nail down my still-fuzzy ideas about my purpose and direction into something solid and real. Ick. But it’s part of the process. Leaving one’s comfort zone is, pretty much by definition, uncomfortable.

Today’s revelation: something new for the “doesn’t go towards my purpose” ashcan. My poor little fledgling company, which hasn’t even started yet. I recognized this morning that it falls under the “distraction” category. So the energy and time I was putting into that is now free and available. I feel like I’m going through my “computer files” looking for wasted memory space. Old documents and outdated programs or stuff I downloaded and just don’t really need. And as tedious a job as it is, going through EVERYTHING in my life like this, it is sort of a charge to see that “Available System Resources” number keep creeping upwards. 🙂

Well, that’s it for now. Time to tie my little handkerchief back on my head, put my pinafore back on, and get back to the spiritual housecleaning.

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