4 Comments

  1. Barlett
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    By unresolved anger, do you mean learning to forgive yourself for forgiving?

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  2. ND
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    Bartlett – Excellent point!

    Kat – been struggling with exactly this – to the point of just about ruining our recent 2 week vacation. Would you be up for a little one-on-one email venting/support/looking for a solution for a short time?

    Reply

  3. ·

    ND- email away; I think I could use it. I’m not sleeping well lately. The posts you questioned weren’t written at 2 or 3 AM, but they were written at 12 or 1, and that’s still awfully late for me.

    Bartlett: Not how I would have worded it (too short by about 2000 words, for one thing) but essentially you’re pretty close.

    Here’s the deal: if you’re in a codependent relationship with a loved one, relative, etc. who is an addict, you’re sorta foobarred coming and going. They hurt, so they act out their addiction–which hurts you. If you express that hurt, it makes them feel bad–which prompts another round of self-medicating.

    Any pain you express ends up coming back doubled; so you basically hold in all of it you can. Sure, some bubbles over and spills out from time to time. You find yourself raging at the brain-dead teenager whose dog is whizzing on your lawn as if you’re a member of the Spanish Inquisition and both dog and teen are heretics. But for the most part, you’re carrying most of the pain for two people.

    Reply
  4. ND
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    I will email. I had to cut my vacation a little short because an employee got sick & I had to go in to cover, so it may not be for a day or 2. I have major piles of stuff to catch up on that I wasn’t planning on doing until Monday. Now that I am here at work I am compelled to do it!

    Reply

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