Sometimes, you do get what you want…
…but it’s delivered in a way you wouldn’t have picked out.
If you’ve hung around here very long, you know that I’m a fan of The Rolling Stones. Whenever the kids start whining about their painful unmet desires, our standard response as parents is to start singing “You can’t always get what you want.” If nothing else, it usually lightens the mood (and you can never start cultivating a love of classic rock anthems too soon, IMO.)
In the last week, though, I’ve been making peace with getting what I want–just not in the way I wanted to get it.
I wanted something. I was convinced I needed it. I prayed for it. I asked for it. I got it.
It sort of sucks.
The thing itself doesn’t suck. I am smart enough to recognize I got what I needed. I’m grudgingly grateful for getting what I wanted and needed. It’s just the stuff it came wrapped up in that sucked all the fun out of the experience.
As the saying goes, there’s more than one way to skin a Kat. I would have preferred this Gift to come in a lovely box festooned with ribbons of blessings for everyone around me. Instead, it showed up looking haggard and worn, and as if it had just narrowly escaped being run over by the postal truck. It came with a price tag attached, and I was left sheepishly acknowledging that it came C.O.D. to someone else’s account, with no real way to pay them back.
The thing about change is, you can’t really predict how it will ripple outwards.
Sometimes, what you want actually is what you need. But it’s not all you need.
Sometimes you need the box of flowers and the nasty-tasting medicine to get better.
Sometimes you get what you need. All that you need. Even some stuff you didn’t really want.