The Evil Genius’ Guide to Bad Luck Recovery

So, something sucky happened recently.

No, scratch that. A whole laundry list of sucky, stressful things happened recently, most of which I can’t discuss here without breaking either a legal contract or someone else’s trust.

Here’s the stuff I can tell you about:

  • Got my days mixed up and my little girl came home to a locked, empty house.
  • Husband came home to a locked, empty house, no daughter, and called me freaking out. (She was fine, by the way. She’d just gone to her friend’s house across the street. She showed up right after he called me, roughly while I was driving home from work at 1000 mph in sheer unadulterated terror and horrific shame at my criminal parenting.)
  • The weather turned crappy and it wasn’t safe to drive. They called roughly 200 snow days for our kids’ school. My husband got sick. All this meant the four of us, already a little stir crazy and sick of each other from the holiday, got even more “together time.”
  • My flat iron tried to kill me. (Seriously. An electrical element in it exploded loudly while I was using it. Chris saw the flash of light from down the hall. It burned my hand, but fortunately it wasn’t next to my head at that moment.)

That’s just the trivial stuff I can talk about. The other stuff?

Well, let’s say that some crappy things have happened which set off a series of “Unfair! Unfair! Totally. Not. FAIR!” alarms in my head.

My initial reaction was to be angry at the General Unfairness of the World. My inner child threw a lovely tantrum, which my inner parent attempted to sooth with tea and cookies. Then I needed to de-stress my inner parent with wine and chocolate.

(It’s possible I gained some weight during the anger phase.)

Then I got paranoid. What if I’d inadvertently invoked a mummy’s curse or ticked off my fairy godmother or something? I didn’t remember breaking any mirrors or walking under any ladders, but you never know. There are a lot of ladders just sitting around. They sort of blend into the environment after a while. Ditto black cats.

Evil Genius RacoonAfter paranoia, we moved on to the “plotting world domination and/or vengeance” evil genius phase.

(What? You don’t have an evil genius phase when life doesn’t go your way? You should seriously consider it.)

After that, I have settled into the “being awesome” phase.

Really, life is too short to let temporary drama derail you. Yes, crappy things happen. Sometimes, lots of crappy things at once. Just do your best. Remind yourself of the small things you have to be grateful about. (“At least the flatiron didn’t explode while pressed up against my head!”)

Go back to being as awesome as you can be, under the circumstances.

Eventually, the circumstances will pass, and you’ll still be awesome.

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