When my blogging drops off to the point that friends and family members (cough**jen**cough) ask if there’s something wrong with me, it’s probably time for an update.
So, yes, something is definitely UP with me. It’s good stuff–not necessarily fun or easy stuff, but good stuff.
It’s a long story (is anything ever not, as far as I’m concerned?) but the short version is that I’ve been hiding from my friends, family, journals, etc. All the people and things that notice or highlight it when there is a kink in your mojo, thus forcing you to face and deal with said kink.
The exact nature of the kink that’s been in my mojo is the long part of the story, as well as the part that is not particularly the business of anyone who knows me solely through reading my blog.
The thrust of the situation is this: I have been struggling for a while now with the issues of vulnerability, transparency, authenticity, boundaries, and intimacy. Yeah–heavy stuff, is it not? What is appropriate to reveal, and what is not, in which context?
My life has given me some pretty big stories to tell. Powerful stories. But anything powerful enough to make a difference in this world is like Pandora’s Box. Let loose without restraint, it can do powerfully wonderful and powerfully destructive stuff. My response for a while was to put a lid on the box. But that’s not really my nature. To keep things bottled in and boxed up.
Plus, what ends up happening is that keeping that big thing stuffed inside you keeps you too busy to do anything else.
So the Stories are going to start coming out. Hopefully, in ways that are predominantly healing and helpful. I’m building some frameworks, some contexts, that will let me send those stories out into the world without unleashing Pandora’s Box.
Things will be changing in my life in upcoming weeks. Potentially radically changing. And because this blog, and Internet Bard to a lesser degree, are reflections of my life, they’ll be changing here too. But hopefully, for the better.