Well, it’s nearly eleven at night on a Tuesday night. I was out sick all day today, and part of yesterday, and one of the side effects of sleeping intermittently for the better part of two days is that you find yourself up with nothing to do at odd hours. The Mini Sith Princess is blessedly asleep, and the boys are off to the airport to pick up Chris’ mom, who’s in visiting this week. So since I’m no longer babysitting the porcelain bassinet, I figured I’d write.
It’s been a crazy few months. At work, I moved departments rather suddenly and found myself trying to learn a lot of new stuff really fast. I also launched a new blog, and lost my old web host, and somewhere in the tussle, this blog got a little lost. Part of the web host crazyness meant that I spent a few weeks tying up all the remaining loose ends for coffee cup studio, which officially is no more. Oh, and a project I worked on last year won a Gold ADDY Award at the Louies, making me officially “an award-winning copywriter.” Yeah, I totally rocked the long red formal at the awards ceremony, but fortunately there were no acceptance speeches. Or cameras pointed my way.
At home, things have been a little freaky for other reasons. Mostly, it’s been freaky because it’s been so remarkably drama-free. We’re managing to stay on top of the basics and are starting give Junior Cheeseburger some much-needed and too-long-put-off attention and focus. (By the way, he completely ROCKED his last elementary school talent show. He did Queen’s We Will Rock You, and had the whole gym stomping and clapping.)
Oh my, the times they are a’changin’ aren’t they? I’ve been wrestling for almost a week now with a post for this blog about marriage. I have SO much to say about that topic that it’s hard to tease out just enough for a blog post. I’ve gotten back in the habit in the last week of reading Copyblogger, which helps me tighten up my writing when I find myself going all War and Peace, when what I really need is “Plop, plop, fizz, fizz.”
Anyway, I think I’m back. I think. The last couple of months have been really focused on taking action out there in the wide world of reality, and also privately working out some deeper stuff. Some of the “stuff” I need to work out is the fact that I can’t seem to do anything privately. And that’s not right. Being a real and authentic person doesn’t mean I need to bare my soul to every passing stranger, just like being a passionate person doesn’t mean my life needs to be one long Festival of Personal Drama.
I have a really hard time striking that balance, apparently, because people tell me that I come off “mysterious and secretive.” My initial thought upon hearing that is, “I am the least mysterious person on EARTH.” Here I thought I was the bare it and share it poster girl. Maybe not. Either that, or they think I’m the stereotypical Sunday school teaching soccer mom with nothing in her past worth keeping secret.
Ok. Not really that, either.
So basically, I’m learning context. What separates being honest and transparent from being inappropriate is the context. The context of the situation, or the relationship, or the story itself, dictates what should and shouldn’t be shared or kept private.
Part of the issue here is that I have seen “privacy” used as a shield for really hurtful dishonesty. It makes me actually a little skeptical about the real need for some things to remain private.
Then again, some truth is a burden that ought to be divided cautiously among people who can bear it in grace. Or heck, there are some things that other people just flat. Don’t. Want. To. Hear. About. For a wide variety of reasons.
Part of the problem is that I’ve simply endured lots of public humiliation, and the side benefit of that is that very little embarrasses you (and thus, you have very little motivation to keep embarrassing stuff private).
I blame childbirth, partly. Once you’ve gone through the whole “six people wearing scrubs staring at my vajayjay” thing once or twice, you’re a little more numb to the whole “exposed and vulnerable” feeling, I think. Maybe that’s just me.
Anyway, still out here. Still working stuff out. Probably still vastly oversharing. In fact, that whole “vajayjay” comment above is probably a prime example of that.
Ah well, spot me that one, will ya? I’m still learning.