If you read here, and we’re friends on Facebook, you may be wondering what is up in my personal life after I signed off with the following message yesterday:
Heavy hearted, and leaving Facebook for a bit. I have some difficult, weighty personal decisions to make right now about the best interests of those I love.
Facebook isn’t the best place to get into detail about what’s going on in my family right now. Honestly, neither is this blog, but I felt like a little further explanation was in order after receiving several messages of concern and care (thank you, BTW. Your concern and prayers are deeply appreciated.)
And also, I have a pattern of going on introvert armadillo hyperdrive when I’m in trouble, and withdrawing so hard I threaten to create a black hole. So I’m not going to go all Marlene Dietrich “I vant to be alone” and retreat entirely.
But I am going to take a lot of healthy “recharging my energy” breaks from social media. Fortunately, my new job is weighted a lot more heavily towards content creation (meaning writing) than social media promotion, and writing is good for me at times like these. Even writing blog posts about plumbing. I have an insane amount of writing to do for my job over then next month, and I’m viewing that as a gift of grace.
The kids are fine. They started back to school today, the Boy entering high school as a freshman, and the HRH starting second grade at an elementary school that is now educating all but one of her maternal cousins. It’s a veritable festival of Beckham-spawn at Morgan right now between the HRH, both my nephews, and one of my two nieces.
I’m not going to lie, I’m not in a good place right now. My marriage is not in a good place. I’ve been fairly transparent about the fact that I have what you might call a “special needs” marriage with a difficult history. My current marital status on Facebook (and life) is “Married,” but “It’s Complicated” would be just as accurate right now.
In fact it’s so darn complicated, I’m not even going to attempt to explain it in this post.
Do I wish that my post on my 20th wedding anniversary was about happily ever after? Damn right. It sucks that I can’t write that post today.
But that reminds me of something I said at the marriage conference where we were the “case study” at back in the spring. There is no happy ending. There’s happy, and the rest of your life. The story doesn’t end at “I do” or it’d be a lot less complicated story–and not really a great one, in my opinion.
Thanks for reading along with ours so far.