I touched on this just a bit in my post about living with “idiots,” but today I feel like it’s worth its own post.
I don’t know anybody who doesn’t have “friend issues.”Â Either they don’t feel like they have enough friends; or they feel like they have too many to be able to give any of the relationships the time and attention they deserve.Â Everybody’s friendship pool seems either broad but too shallow; or deep, but not many friends wide.Â Most of the women I know have “burned by cattiness” trust issues with other women.Â Men, God love them, are usually about as skilled at going deeper in their relationships than sports and snacks as a cappuchin monkey.
Really, it’s a wonder when you manage to make a few strong, deep connections in life, so I consider myself incredibly blessed because I have quite a few, both online and in “real life.”Â (Which is a seriously relative term, in my case.)
I would like to take a moment to appreciate all my girlfriends, even the male ones.Â Out of respect for your privacy, I’m not going to name you here, but you know who you are.Â Without you, my life would be a dimmer, colder, grayer place.
Lastly, I would like to make a follow up to my comments on my last posting about “working moms” and “full time moms.”Â I don’t dislike the term “full time mom.”Â Â I think it’s a perfectly accurate and common-sense term.Â I also think that “working mom” is a perfectly accurate and common-sense term.Â My issue is with people who demand a level of sensitivity to their feelings that they aren’t willing to reciprocate.Â If “working mom” is insensitive (and I don’t personally think it is, I think it’s accurate) then “full time mom” is equally insensitive.Â Ideally, we’d all have the sense to allow others struggling through the challenge of parenting the grace to define their own roles in whatever way makes sense to them.
While we’re on the subject, I also wanted to throw something out to any readers brave enough to comment.Â I’ve had several women tell me they object to the term “working mom” to describe my role.Â However, not one of them has ever offered an alternative term, and I’m frankly a bit tired of tripping over “mom-who-works-outside-the-home” around them.
If someone were to ask me for an alternative to “full time mom” I would say “homemaker.” To me, that’s accurate, meaningful and complimentary.Â If a full time mom’s mission is to make a home–to create a loving and nurturing environment for her family–then “homemaker” makes sense.Â “Domestic Engineer” seems a little sterile to me, but if a person likes that description for themself, more power to ya.Â “Full time mom” works, too (as long as you don’t spend ten minutes telling me how awful “working mom” is… 😉 )
But I’d really, honestly like to hear what alternatives you all could come up with for “working mom” that is respectful to everybody.Â Consider it a creative writing challenge, in preparation for next month’s NaNoWriMo.Â 😉