8 Comments

  1. Chris
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    Dust……….. Wind……….. Dude………..

    Wow. Heavy stuff. Sometimes you make me see how shallow I am. I don’t mean that in a negative way, just making a statement. I’m like, “Woo hoo! Louisville Whupped Stanford!” And that was the highlight of the day. And then I read this… man…..

    DUDE!!! YOU”RE MAKING ME THINK!!!! DARN YOU!!!! 😉

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  2. Myself
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    Kat

    I agree with you totally. I have been trying to let stuff go that really hurt me from the past. I listened to this teaching series called the gift of mourning and it was extremely helpful to me. Apparently crying is the only way to get rid of all that negative crud. That has been the hardest thing for me, its that whole appearing weak thing..

    Anyway I went back and I read some stuff from our old haunt and I think I finally get it, where stuff went horribly wrong… I think I am pretty slow, I did not know what happened, seriouly I didnt.

    I am actually emberrised, that is NOT what I meant, I think it was taken the wrong way.. Good greif, (red faced) rofl. I would like to try and clear my name, and set the record straight about what I meant by what I said, but I am too emberrised right now.

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  3. Myself
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    Kat

    Anyway, I thought about all of this all weekend. There was a huge misunderstanding. What I said really was taken the wrong way but you know what, people will believe what they will, and there is nothing I can do about that.

    I could explain 5 ways to Sunday what my intent was but what good would that do anyway. I am the person people love to hate so why would anyone want to believe me? Being hated is the price I pay for being me.

    I know what I meant, and it was not what people thought, but hey if they want to think the worst and not give me the benifit of the doubt then thats fine. The part that really hurts is not one person even asked me if there was a misunderstanding, not one person. That is very telling. Why would I want to explain myself to people who have such a low opinion of me to begin with?

    I will say I am sorry for the misunderstanding, and I ask for forgiveness. I really am sorry for any pain or problems that came out of it. I also will give you my word, which I dont take lightly, that what people thought I meant, and what I really meant, are worlds apart. I will swear to you on my moms grave that this really was a misunderstanding, a bad one, yes, but a misunderstanding none the less. Actually if you knew my mindset, you would laugh. Its all pretty stupid lmao.

    Other than that it really dont matter, I have had worse things said about, so if thats what people want to say or think, go for it. I have been the black sheep all my life, so a few more people think I am bad.. They best get in line, it will be a long wait hehehe. Grab a snickers, its gonna be a while heheh. Lifes too short, I am not going to let it bother me.

    I am not, however, going to get mean and ugly and do a 10 page smearing festival or be cut throat to clear my name. By now if I cant stand on my own integrity, and my word, then its simply not worth it. Plus, friends dont cut each others throats to make themselves look better. If it means being that way to appease a bunch of people who were all to eager to light up the torches and scream witch, naww I will pass. I will just take the hit and let them think whatever they want, they will anyway.

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  4. ·

    in my experience, hon, people make assumptions all the time, and they rarely if ever second-guess those assumptions. It’s upsetting when people assume the worst of you, but not really surprising–and thats one of the many reasons I don’t go to that particular place at all–not to read old stuff, not to read new stuff, not to write, not at all.

    And as you’ve said, it’s past now.

    Reply
  5. Myself
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    Thank you Kat,

    Hon, I am glad you forgive me. After I understood the whole deal, I was worried you would not forgive me. I could not even bear to look to see if you answered for a couple days. I am very very sorry, good greif, am I ever sorry.

    I feel so stupid, I am just blissfully unaware, and nothing clicked in my brain until the other night. I guess I dont think in the same terms as other people, I had to actually look at that stuff and try and figure out what I had done wrong. When I did figure it out, I thought I would die of emberrisment.

    I dont blame you for not going there. I did one post a while back and it had 40 reads, not one answer. I just deleted it because I felt really weird and exposed.

    Hey I liked your myplace thing. Maybe I will do one sometime (if I can figure it out) and if its OK with hubby.

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  6. Myself
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    Kat,

    One more thing,

    I thought about it and I get the feeling something bad happened to you over at that place again. Sorry if they went after you again, I don’t know what happened, if anything did. Maybe I am just making assumptions myself.

    Want I should lean on them a little ROFL? Hey it would be good for a laugh, to watch an angry 8 in action and to see them all scurry… I probably shouldn’t do it, but I really feel like it. Plus, I would have to have the permission of another to do something like that. I sure don’t want to cause any more trouble for him. Sorry C, please forgive me, I sure did not want to bring anything down on you like that.

    You know, I am trying so hard to be a Christian but I also have overwhelming anger at them right now and feel like that Limp Bizkit song “break stuff.” I really am trying hard to let it all go but it’s so hard when it keeps finding me. Today, I go to a place where I found a few new friends, a Christian message board, and low and behold they have found me there. A new member that just joined is one of them. Its not paranoia either, no one would think of that screen name, its one of them.

    Guess I will quit going there too. Every time I find a place I think I can call “home” here they come. I can’t go back there any more; they are probably feeding all my posts straight into the gossip kitty.

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  7. Myself
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    Anyway Kat,

    Thanks for your forgiveness, I am going to get out of here and not bother you, I am sorry I looked you up and bothered you.

    I feel like I ruined everything. I really am sorry and did not mean to cause trouble. It dont matter, I wrote the post, so its my responsibility even if I did not have that intention. I broke the cardinal rule of 8s (not MB rules) I hurt innocent people that were nice to me. I guess there are just some things that you cant fix. Anyway thanks for being so nice to me, I am going to get out of your hair and leave you alone.

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  8. Myself
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    Kat,

    One last thing then I swear I will go. You know I am sorry that I hurt people but at least it was not intentional. What happened to me, however, was. Every one of my friends just assigned me a bunch of feelings that I never even had then treated me like I was some sort of freak because of it. All the while leaving me completely out of the process. Not one person came to me and said hopes have you slipped plum off the tracks and are now working for the Sith, not a one.

    As guarded of a person as I am, protect that inner child at all costs, this is completely insane to even think I would do something like that. I am not some smiley glad hands with hidden adgenda, I was just trying to be friends with people and be nice to them, is that a crime? Maybe I should just be a royal bitch? Is that somehow better?

    Also, hold on a min here. What I am accused of has to do with emotions and feelings correct? Who on earth knows what I feel other than me? Does going to MB make people mind readers? Unless they are God, then they can not possibly know what I feel, what I think unless I tell them. I will say I never felt the way I was accused of, I thought of him like a brother, nothing else.

    This was really crappy, I think I got a really raw deal, I mean its the equivelent of me telling you how you feel about a particular subject then slapping you upside the head for it. I am sorry, I just had to say my peace about this.

    I dont mean to be hurtful, but I have been hurt too. My whole reputation has been slandered just because people want to jump to conclusions over one stupid post that basically said I like day spas. It was not an invite, good lord. You know, I had to throw my mind into the gutter to even get what I did wrong. I guess I am just not that base, no wonder I did not get it. What I was saying was basically Oooh nachos, Oooh shoe store, Oooh day spa something to that effect. You could insert chocolate cake and have the same effect. Not, something as twisted as everyone made it out to be. Thats just nasty.

    You know Kat, forgiveness goes both ways hon. No one even considered that did they. No matter I am taking the high road and just forgiving them anyway. Oh and by the way just so everyone knows, I had my husband read every Jot and tittle from MB and he thinks it is stupid. He also thinks I am wasting my time even typing this. No matter, I said my peace and do with it what you will.

    Hopesalive

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