It’s been a bit of a down day. For one thing, it’s been rainy all day–that kind of drizzly, half-hearted rain where you wish the clouds would make up their minds and either just clear up or really let loose and freshen things up. I feel a bit half-hearted myself today.
Complaints about the airlines aside, last week’s trip out of town was really beneficial to me. Aside from the boost of confidence I got in presenting fairly well, the copious amounts of “down time” waiting for the travel glitches to work themselves out gave me a nice break in which to do some reflection, private journaling and just get nicely refocused and mentally refreshed. Sans someone asking me a question or needing something urgently for a few days, it was much easier to look at my life from a longer view and get a little clarity. Maybe even some perspective.
I’ve been paying attention to my dreams lately, as well as some of the recurring imagery around me. Lots of earthy stuff: digging in dirt, sinking my toes in sand, mud coating everything. Everything is very active, energetic, but it’s not a frenetic, airy, flighty kind of energy. It’s the energy of a farmer steadily working the same small plot of ground over time.
I’ve been feeling an urge to start a garden, but I don’t know if that desire is literal or metaphorical or both. I’m not sure if I want to actually put my time, attention and energy into a garden, or if it just means that I’m coming into a season of tending, nurturing, and growing things, rather than starting 100 new projects.
That’s weird for me, because in general I naturally tend to be a “starter of new things” and a “finisher of stuff left unfinished,” but being a “tender of things in-process” is a way of seeing myself I have a hard time with.