So I was driving to work this morning, and it was that sort of muggy fog that settles in over the Ohio River in the summer, still and steamy on the hills and the streambeds. I had my radio turned to the local Adult Alternative station, theMaxFM, and U2 was singing to me from my car stereo and from 1980-something. And you know, for the first time, I really listened to the lyrics of “I Still Haven’t Found (What I’m Looking For).” Maybe because they hit so close to home right now.
I’m restless, but not desperate. I’m longing, but not eaten up with it. I’m generally okay with my not-okayness. I’m alright with the imperfection of things right now. And for a Four, that’s kind of a big deal. That’s equanimity, which is sort of what our spiritual journey is all about. We are world-class nitpickers. We see the hole and not the donut, by nature or nurture or whatever combination of the two results in your enneagram strategy (which isn’t you personality, but that’s a discussion for another day.) Being at peace with imperfection and shortcomings is not generally my strong suit.
So I lift my cracked mug in salute to life’s imperfections. Because a week or so ago, all those little flaws and foibles were really getting me down. I felt oppressed by the sheer volume of unfinished chores and unmet expectations and undecided decisions in my life. But now, the reality of “reality” has sort of smacked me right in the prefrontal cortex like an electric-eye door that fails to open upon stepping onto the rubber welcome mat. The real world is imperfect, full of unfinished business of one sort or another, and always will be. But there is a sovereign God above it all, and everything will work out in the end–so that pretty much makes it alright.
Well, have a good weekend, ya’ll!