Fear and loathing on the interwebs

Which is the cause for greater comment hate? Papyrus font or LOST shipper wars ?

What is it about the Comment field of a blog or the Reply box on a message board that brings out the absolute worst in people?

Or is it that these things bring out the worst people?

Every time I think about posting something extraordinary, every time I think about growing a blog or a forum or some kind of community site, I think about  this vitriole, and I pause.  And the potential good that could come of it fades.

My history as a blogger is marked by me stepping off the gas and tapping the brakes whenever I really start building momentum.

Because I’m scared of the bad guys.

Because I’m (*gag!*) sensitive.

img courtesy craiova on sxc
img courtesy craiova on sxc

My youngest sister has told me two or three times over the holiday “I didn’t realize how much you were like my husband, until I saw how much my daughter is like you.”

Her daughter is sensitive.  Deeply emotional.  Everything is more … intense.. for her.  I know this because I remember what it was like when I was a kid, before I developed the necessary armor to seem sort of “normal.”

I told my sister “She really can’t help it, you know.”  Emotional meltdowns aren’t a thing she does–they’re a thing that happens to her.  Eventually, when she gets older, they can help her figure out how to keep it from happening to her.  They can give her some tools to navigate life a bit more easily.

I also warned her that eventually, her daughter will retreat.  She’ll seem remote and distant.  Maybe even snobby.  She won’t be doing this because she is snobby.  She’ll be doing it because she needs to create some space between her sensitivity and the spikyness and sharp angles of other people.  And to hide the fact that she’s sensitive–because the last thing you want is to walk around with everyone else knowing that you’re that easy to hurt, and hurt deeply.

I am tired of stepping off the gas and tapping the brakes.

I am tired of hiding from the bad guys.

I am tired of letting potentially good, amazing, transformative stuff go undone because of my fear.

This year, we floor it, and see what happens.

Okay?

3 Comments


  1. ·

    I’m reminded of this scene from Blues Brothers

    Elwood: It’s 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it’s dark, and we’re wearing sunglasses.
    Jake: Hit it.

    I’ll buckle in for the ride. 🙂
    .-= Charles Robinson´s last blog ..How to cook pot roast in 42 short hours! =-.

    Reply
  2. Kat
    ·

    David: Oh, don’t get me wrong. Generally speaking, I haven’t even seen my comfort zone since maybe June… but you’re right–great things come at the cost of comfort, and this last little bit of comfort I was holding onto is costing too much at this point.

    Charles: I love that movie!! Best car chase scene ever filmed. Here’s hoping we get the money to the courthouse in time. 🙂

    Reply

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