I wanted to post something today, and unfortunately, I only have five minutes.
So I think I will riff on the subject of envy.
I’m continually surprised at the level of envy I feel, when I pull my attention inward and consciously notice where my thoughts are.
Another surprise? That 9 times out of 10, I don’t actually want the thing I’m envious about someone else getting.
Maybe it’s the satisfaction and contentment I’m assuming and assigning to the other person. They appear to be getting exactly what they’ve been striving for, and whether it’s something I think is worth having or pursuing, I envy their success in getting the things they pursue. Maybe it’s the clarity of desire that I imagine they have that I envy.
My own experience says that we’re rarely contented and satisfied long, even when we achieve what we’ve sought.
How silly it seems, when I really make myself be honest, to envy something that may exist only in my fertile imagination, as opposed to being grateful for the beloved things I know I have.