Bloggus Interruptus

It has been so long since I wrote in this blog that I almost forgot the password. This has been partly because I have been insanely busy blogging and writing elsewhere. And also busy doing things that aren’t writing.

Hanging out with friends and family, binge-watching Daredevil on Netflix, attempting to get to the end of Dragon Age: Inquisition. Walking and preparing to do a color run and a mud run with Chris (still not sure which is going to be messier). Slowly working my way out of an unhealthy lifestyle and into better habits.

Really, this blog is my public brain dump, and a lot of the stuff in my brain has not been appropriate for a public forum for a while. I consider it a testament to my current state of maturity and emotional health that those wranglings have ended up in private, paper journals. As opposed to rambly blog posts or needy Vaguebook missives. As an INFP and an enneagram 4, emotional drama is sort of my personal drug. And some situations lately have made staying on the wagon a struggle.

I am a problem-solver by nature. I tend to think really good writers usually are, because plotting is often an exercise in problem solving, especially in certain genres. I tend to approach any difficult situation with the attitude that I will, eventually, figure out a way to fix it to everyone’s satisfaction.

Unfortunately, life doesn’t actually work like the plot of a novel. Sometimes, the solution that fixes things for you messes things up for someone else. Sometimes, going along with what works for everyone else demands a cost you’re not willing to pay anymore.

In a novel, you split characters neatly into “protagonist,” “allies,” “love interests,” “mentors” and “antagonists.”  As long as the “good guys” get their happily ever after, the mentors and allies are somewhat expendable, and it doesn’t really matter what happens to the antagonists. In fact, there’s a sort of bitter satisfaction in seeing them suffer.

In real life, everybody thinks they’re the protagonist. Nobody is expendable. And the antagonist is just the protagonist of a different story.

But we can’t really escape our own narrative perspective, and eventually you reach the plot turn. The point where the protagonist stops being reactive, and proactively creates a plan to solve her problem.

More to come. Thanks for coming along.

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