Birds, Bees, Bibles and 12 Year Old Boys

img courtesy runrunrun on sxc

So Sunday, we sat down at church with J. (our 12 year old son) between us, and the pastor launched into a sermon about Sex, taken from Proverbs 5.

That wasn’t awkward…

Well, actually, it wasn’t really that bad. We’ve had talks with him. And it was a really good message (The iTunes download of it is here, in case you’d like to listen), and he needs to hear positive and healthy messages about sex.  Much of the sermon focused on the blessing of positive sexuality, as opposed to the typical laser focus on the negative.  Although, I have to say, I’m pretty sure all three of us were restraining giggles over “may you rejoice in the wife of your youth… may her breasts satisfy you always…” being read with great enthusiasm by Pastor Daniel.

(Of course, he has pretty much the same enthusiasm for pretty much all subjects. He’s an enthusiastic guy.)

Chris and I had been talking in the car earlier, about how some people who are perfectly attractive, nice people who really want to be in a relationship, for some reason just can’t get into one, as if there’s some kind of spiritual barrier around them…

Right after that, J. piped in from the back seat, ostensibly talking about music, and said something about really relating to the Nickelback song Gotta Be Somebody (which is about wishing you had a special someone).  But it seemed like it was a little apropos of nothing to only be about music.

So, yeah… apparently my kid (who is now taller than me) thinks he’s ready for a girlfriend… or is wondering if he’s ready for a girlfriend…

Later that day, I was in a message board discussion where one of my online girlfriends was talking about a sexually active 12 year old girl her daughter knows.  Which made me feel a bit queasy…(although, big props to her that her daughter is being open and sharing and things…)

I think I’m going to go ice my forehead now…

Whether the song reference meant what I thought it meant or not, the fact is, my son is moving into that phase of life where he’s going to be making more serious choices.  It’s not just sex.  Well, okay, this week, it’s mostly just sex that’s concerning me.  But I worry that I haven’t done enough to give him the material he needs to fashion a reasonably mature adult out of himself.  Because quite frankly? It’s been way too recently that I figured out how to do that myself.

I keep thinking about a recent episode of Greys Anatomy where they were talking about how one day, you’re not play-acting at being a doctor or a parent–you really are one. Let’s face it… as 24 year olds, most if not all of us were still play-acting at being grown ups. But that’s part of the learning process, too. And eventually, most of us have gotten to the “actual grown ups” phase… which has to be at least a little comforting, right?


Leave a Reply