I had a lengthy and difficult conversation with my husband this week. It related to how we manage the “organization” that is our family of four (five, if you count the puppy we got around Christmas).
The short version is, we suck.
Not at all the whole parenting/finances/housework/paperwork entirely of things, but at some aspects, even after 18 years of marriage, we suck.
This came on the heels of a lengthy conversation I had with myself on pretty much the same subject. (Aside: Yes, I have conversations with myself in the car. What else am I supposed to do during my 40 minute commute? Listen to Taylor Swift singing from every station in our local area for the 400,000th time?)
It’s hard, admitting you suck. We go to great lengths to avoid admitting it, most of the time. We look for villains everywhere, and we wrap our victim cloak tightly around our shoulders, and we rail at the big, bad world that is responsible for our misfortune. When the reality is often that a little thing called “consequences” has just come knocking. We have met the enemy, and he is us.
This realization also sucks.
But as even some big corporations have figured out lately, doing that can be the beginning of turning things around. As the very smart Jay Baer points out, admitting you suck is the beginning of humility. And humility can be a very good starting place for change.
Having identified the actual cause of the problem is a good thing. Knowing that the actual cause of the problem is you, is also a good thing. Of all the potentials causes for a problem in this world, the one you have the best ability to correct is you.
well said. it takes a lot of humility to be humble. the exciting thing (although hard to see) i have learned is that if we take responsibility for where we are then we control when and how much we can change. if we blame someone else for where we are then we forfeit our authority to fix the situation. i heard somewhere that our greatest struggles will be our greatest victories if we decide and take action to overcome them.
oh, and 18 years of marriage, kids, and careers… i'd say you guys are doing way more right than wrong
It's that relationship between taking responsibility and gaining control that is the good news, I think.