10 Things that Scare the Crap Out of Me

I’ve had a passing acquaintance with Kelsey and Jamie Barnes for about seven years or so. We met them when we were going through our membership classes at Sojourn, and wanted to join their Community Group, but Chris was going to classes the night it met. They also watched our kids when we finally found a CG in Indiana. They’ve always had a warm spot in my heart because I suspect we’re all similar oddballs.

Anyway, they’ve started a new blog, which is delightful and well worth checking out here: http://themusicorthemisery.wordpress.com. It looks like they plan to write daily Top 10 lists through October, since it’s the 10th month of the year. Clever.

I’m not going to write top ten lists all month. Can’t commit to that. But today, I figured I’d write about ten things that scare the crap out of me. Just because it’s October, the semi-official month of Scary Things.

  1. Bridges. I am actually terrified of bridges. So badly that when I was a kid, way back in the days of yore before car seats, I had to get into the floorboard whenever we crossed the Sherman Minton. Fortunately, I’m not as bad now, but it’s still stressful. I get white-knuckled if the traffic is slow over a bridge. Yes, I know that I live in Indiana and work in Kentucky. You may have noticed the big honking river which divides them. I think God is just trying to help me get over my fear, using the same technique my dad’s brothers used to “help” him learn to swim (namely, throwing him in a river over his head).
  2. Anything bad happening to my kids.Β Or really anybody’s kids. No, I will not be watching The Lovely Bones with you anytime soon. Or Bridge to Terebithia.Β Don’t need the nightmare fodder, thanks.
  3. Losing my mind. I know, I know. I’ve already been diagnosed with depression and anxiety. I’m not talking about having trouble wrangling my emotions. I’m talking about me and reality going our separate ways. My paternal grandmother had dementia for the last part of her life. That scares the holy crap out of me. Because, to paraphrase Count Rugen, if you haven’t got your own mind, you haven’t got anything.
  4. Loose buttons. I know. There is nothing terrifying about loose buttons. It’s a ridiculous fear. But they deeply creep me out. I think we have to chalk this one up to some weird mutation of OCD.
  5. Fear itself. I think Roosevelt may have been onto something. I’m scared, maybe not so much of feeling afraid as I am of letting fear guide my actions. Because you make dumb decisions when you’re scared. There’s a reason they call it “scared witless.”
  6. Creepy guys in bars. It’s probably good that I’ve never been a single adult. Because when a guy cozies up to me in a bar, my immediate thought is “You own a nondescript white van, don’t you dude? GO AWAY.”
  7. Death by drowning. Probably related to #1 above.
  8. Large crowds. Yes. I know. I just went to Comic Con. That was me overcoming my fear in service of a greater good. Also, I was working a merchandise booth and had a nice velvet rope, not to mention large security guards, to protect me from the hordes of people. But in general, crowds make me incredibly anxious. Unless I’m on a stage. Then I’m fine, oddly enough. Because my freaky actor brain is convinced that the audience cannot penetrate the fourth wall and get to me.
  9. Being evil. Deep down, I’m a little worried that I’m one traumatic event from turning into Doctor Evil. Or Doctor Horrible. Or a smarter version of Bowler Hat Guy. Really, pick your evil genius. I’m afraid of going bad. Like really, truly, Walter White/Dark Phoenix power-mad bad.
  10. Clowns. I don’t think I really need to elucidate this one much. Other than this is no offense to my uncle who used to do clown ministry. Or other people who are into clowning. Just please do it far, far, FAAAAAARRRR away from me.

Well, that’s about it. My ten greatest fears, in no particular order. Feel free to share your own in the comments.

8 Comments


  1. ·

    Cracking up at the loose buttons, Kat, but really feeling you on the bridges and losing one’s mind. I saw my grandmother and godmother go through dementia and I think it’s made me a little paranoid about such things. Looking forward to more top 10 posts! I was in two challenges last month so I’m a bit blogging weary, else I might participate.

    Reply
    1. Kat
      ·

      Everybody thinks the buttons thing is funny. Sorry about your grandmother and godmother. It’s really hard to watch people lose themselves and change like that. Two blog challenges is a lot! Get some rest! πŸ™‚

      Reply

  2. ·

    Seems I’ve only got 3, but I share them with you. 1. Fear itself: I believe thoughts held in mind produce in kind so I struggle when I feel fear creeping up on me. 2. I could say losing my mind is a huge one, but it really comes down to dependency. That is a big, toothy monster beneath my bed. 3. The crowd thing. Like you, I can make a speech or sing a song with no problem, as long as all the people are waaay over there. I have to pray very hard to armor up before making myself go to a White Sox game. Of course, if they continue to play like they did this year, big crowds won’t be much of a problem.

    Reply
    1. Kat
      ·

      I realized after I posted this list that most of my fears have to do with loss of control, or being helpless. So dependency is pretty close. It’s funny that so many people find getting up in front of a crowd scary, when to me its a lot scarier to have a crowd RIGHT ON TOP OF YOU. Sorry about your Sox. My boss is a Pirates fan, and thus is super happy right now.

      Reply

  3. ·

    Hey Kat! Thanks for the shout-out! πŸ™‚ I have always suspected we were “similar oddballs” as well. You and I definitely have a commonality in our ever-changing colored hair streaks. This is such a great list and gives me good insight into you as a person. I need to work on being more transparent through our blog. My greatest fear is… frogs. I am completely terrified of ALL OF THEM. I’ve had full-blown panic attacks just thinking about the second plague on Egypt. *shudder* But my deep-down, hope-nobody-finds-out-about-this fear is being unwanted. πŸ™
    Keep up the Top 10 posts! Maybe you can just do 10 of them. 31 is a lot to commit to, but we have a lot of time on our hands these days… hahaha. πŸ™‚

    Reply
    1. Kat
      ·

      Gotta love the technicolor hair streaks! Thanks for sharing about the frogs. It’s good to know other people have uncommon fears (like my buttons). And frogs are kinda freaky and slimy. I also definitely relate to the fear of being unwanted. Always sort of feel like a reject, myself. πŸ™‚ But I know I’m wanted by God, and I have to remind myself a lot that’s enough. A LOT. And I don’t always manage to convince myself. Thanks for coming by! And happy belated to Arlo. πŸ™‚

      Reply
  4. Jennifer
    ·

    Clowns are creepy, but I fear ventriloquist dummies-probably after watching “Magic” as a child. And Chucky probably didn’t help, either.
    Also, heights. Hate heights.
    And my kids getting hurt. Which is a high probability with Lucas, the daredevil.
    Snakes!! I will scream like a little girl if I even think I see one slithering. If I see one in the road, I run over it, back up, run over it again, and repeat the sequence till I’m pretty sure it’s dead.
    Suffocating. Either due to drowning, being in space, or any other situation that may cause a shortage of oxygen.
    There’s likely several more, but I’ll save those for another conversation.

    Reply
    1. Kat
      ·

      I’m with you on the ventriloquist dummies. They’re pretty terrifying, for blocks of wood. And at least Lucas seems to bounce back pretty fast! He seems like he’s already embraced the “chicks dig scars” philosophy. LOL… we’ll have to get together for another conversation soon. But we don’t have to spend the whole thing talking about fear. πŸ˜‰

      Reply

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